Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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