the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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