Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
