I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
