my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
