After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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