I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
