Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
