her vagine was all disorganized.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
