he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
