I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
