Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
