dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
