Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
