I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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