Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
