Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
