I think my vagina is haunted
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
