First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
