Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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