He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
