HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
