Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
