But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
