Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
