Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
