I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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