so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
