It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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