I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
a search helicopter?!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
