thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
