Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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