friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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