idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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