Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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