You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
What a dumb baby whore.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
