We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
