it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
