i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
