My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
