College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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