I think i sorta joined a cult last night
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Randomize
