; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
