the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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