Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
