apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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