how can u be prego again
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
