I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
