yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
