a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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