Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
