I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
