Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
